Quilting like watching sports on TV

My husband claims to love watching his favorite sports on TV yet he yells a the players, the refs and the coaches constantly.  This is a fun hobby?

What would it be like if quilters enjoyed their hobby this same way?  What would you hear coming out of the sewing room?

"Great job, you thread, way to knot up."  (Sarcasm font on last comment)
"Come on fabric, what are you, blind?  How can the right sides not be together?"
"What kind of stitch is that?  Who makes a stitch like that?"
"Way to go, needle, just break because you hit a lousy button."
"Sew like a champion today."
"Sew, sew, SEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!"
"Who runs out of thread in the middle of the project?  Lousy quiter."
"Gimme a Q, q.  Gimme a U, u.  Gimme an I, i.  Gimme an L, l.  Gimme a T, t.  What's that spell?  Quilt.  Louder.  QUILT!  LOUDER.  QUILT!!!
"Throw the fabric out, get rid of it!  Send it back to the factory."
"Seamed, YES!"

Instead you hear the whirling and humming of the machines, maybe an occasional sigh followed by a chocolate break.  I think we are better off that quilting is not like sports.  On the other hand, some of our favorite quilters would then be multimillionaires.

Sew!  Quilt!  Thread that needle!